My FIRST Vacation with 2 Toddlers (I Survived)

So let me tell you a story. 

We went on our first family of four overnight vacation. The picture perfect image I had was what you would see in a Hallmark movie. Kids are all having fun at the beach, everyone is smiling and laughing and my husband and I are in bliss with each other and soaking in the precious memories. 

All I gotta say is…perfect bliss and harmony my a$$.

Vacation Preparation

We started packing night before, which was a nightmare all on its own. It went something like this: Pack some stuff; stop to get crying baby.  Pack some more; stop to break up a sibling fight. Pack some more, this time rushing because the kids are getting hungry and I still needed to make dinner for them.  Finish packing, only to remember a ton of things I forgot to pack.  

Just a tip, if you plan on doing an overnight, especially with small kids, make sure to write down a list of what you need ahead of time because when you are in the middle of packing you tend to forget essentials (like beach toys for example). And don’t you dare forget the snacks.  Snacks will save you.

“Vacation” Day 1

6am: kids wake up while I am trying to get ready still
myself.  Why must they get up early on
days they are able to sleep in?

7am: It took a little bribing, but everyone is finally dressed. My three year old, Olivia, refuses to eat breakfast, even though I told her we are going on a 3-hour long car ride. 

7:30am: Everything and everyone is in the car and ready to go. Just as we are about to leave, my one year old, Addison, chokes on some apple juice and pukes all over herself and the car seat. The entire car smells like vomit.

8:30am:  The car and car seat have been deep cleaned, thanks to my husband. Addison is all cleaned up, thanks to me. We are finally ready to go (again). As soon as we started the car, Olivia says she has to pee.  I bring her back inside so she can go pee.

8:40am: Finally make it out of the driveway.  Kids seem content now.  Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.

10am:  Olivia demands a burger from McDonalds.  She doesn’t understand that lunch is not being served there until 11am.  We listen to her cry for an entire hour about how she wants a burger.

11am: We get the damn burger.  She is now happy.

11:15am:  We realize we forgot the beach toys. We find a CVS, which only had “boy” beach toys. I gave my girls the Spiderman themed toys and they were super excited.

11:30am: We are almost to the beach, when I hear projectile vomiting in the backseat. Addison got car sick and puked EVERYWHERE. We pull up to a rest area, where we clean her up and give her a snack.  She thinks this entire scene is funny and laughs the whole time.  I do not laugh.

12pm: We get to the beach. Traffic sucks and parking sucks. We manage to get a decent spot after 20 minutes of searching. I change the girls into their swimsuits. Addison screamed while getting her changed because…..well i don’t really know why.

12:15pm-3pm: Both kids fight me on putting on sunscreen, but eventually cave and let me put it on them. They both play in the sand/water, enjoying the sun.  They chased some seagulls and even made some old lady friends.  I had to remind both of them that they couldn’t sit on other people’s towels or chairs.  They got mad at me for that. Addison eats some sand and regrets her decision immediately. Overall, it was a good time.

3:15pm:  Kids are getting tired and hungry, so we pack up and leave for the day. I try to get most of the sand off the girls and myself, but no luck. Sand was everywhere. Hair, legs, feet, butt….everywhere.

3:45pm: Check into hotel and lug everything inside.  Our room is towards the end of the building, so it was an extra-long walk, go figure. We get inside and the girls immediately make themselves at home.  So far so good.

4:15pm: My kids really want to go swimming in the hotel pool. I am super tired but I give in and say yes. I change them back into their suits again, which are still wet and cold from the beach. They did not like that at all.

5pm: Both kids start turning into evil goblins because they skipped nap time. We get back to the hotel room and change into jammies.  They refused to take a bath because it isn’t their normal bathtub. I say screw it and let them stay covered in beach sand and chlorine.

6pm:  Both kids pass out early.  Is this real life? 

7pm: The silence and peace was short lived. Addison woke up freaking out because she’s in a different place. She continued to scream until 9pm.  I think the other vacationers thought we were torturing our child. Olivia slept right through that chaos. Gold star for her.

9pm:  Addison finally falls back asleep, so I try to get some sleep myself. Spoiler: I don’t get to sleep.

11pm:  Addison wakes up again freaking out.  This lasts until 1:30am.  Again, Olivia sleeps right through it.  At this point i start to envy her.

“Vacation” Day 2

2am:  I finally fall asleep, but I wake up to see Addison almost off the side of the bed.  I pull her back to the middle.  This happens two more times over the course of three hours.

5am: Addison wakes up yet again, but this time for the day.  Trying to keep her entertained and quit so the other family members could sleep was a bust.  This time Olivia wakes up, and for the day as well. I need coffee.

5:30am:  We get ready for the day because why not? I try to brush my teeth but my kids want me to hold them. They start crying. I almost start crying too. I still need coffee.

6:00am:  Trying to entertain two kids in a 600sqft room is becoming unbearable.  Nothing is open yet this early and we are
waking everyone up around us.  I think
they all hate us.  We should leave. 

6:30am: We check out of the hotel. No one was working the counter this early, so I left the key at the counter with a note. It must have worked because I haven’t gotten a call since. Both kids are hungry now.  Olivia wants a burger again.  She gets angry that McDonalds is not serving burgers at 6:30am.  I really need a freaking coffee.

7am: Been on the road heading home for only 30 minutes when Addison poops her pants. We pull over to change her diaper. Olivia is still crying about the burger situation. She finally settles with a pop tart instead. I finally get my coffee from Dunkin. It was glorious.   

7:30am:  Olivia has to pee. We pull over and I take her to a bathroom inside a gas station. Because the car stopped, Addison freaks out because she hates not being in motion. My husband is about to rip his hair out by the time we get back to the car.

8am:  Addison is tired and cranky, for obvious reasons. I wish she would take a nap, but instead she just throws a tantrum….for the next hour. Olivia throws a tantrum alongside of her because she remembers she wanted a burger again, which still isn’t being served yet.  I need another coffee.

9:30am: Almost home, but Olivia has to pee again. We find another gas station and we go in. The toilet in this one flushes too loud and she freaks out. She hates loud noises, so it takes a good 5 minutes to calm her down.

10am: We FINALLY get home. I bring both kids inside and get them situated. I lay Addison in her crib and she almost instantly falls asleep. Hallelujah! My husband and I tag team the unpacking mission. When we finally finish we both collapse on the floor and stare into oblivion.

10:03am: I grab my phone and go through all the pictures taken from the beach. My husband and I gush over them. 

10:05am: I make another coffee and start planning next family trip.